I always try to blend in at work.
I don’t need the bus to recognize me or single me out for any reason.
I am very shy and I have a difficult time talking in front of a group of people. When the boss has meetings, I usually stand near the back so I can’t be recognized. The boss had a meeting a few weeks ago and only invited the department heads. I had to go to the meeting and it was a small group of people. My boss started a conversation with me as soon as the meeting began and I started to feel very nervous and flushed. I knew that meant that I was likely going to have a panic attack. I told my boss that I needed a couple of minutes and I excused myself from the room. I didn’t know what I was going to say when I went back there. I was hoping they all moved on to a different subject. When I came back to the room, my boss asked if I was feeling better. He told me that he wanted me to present all of my quarterly facts and numbers after the meeting. The boss never asked me to do that before and I thought I was going to faint. I went outside and one of the guys from the warehouse was smoking a joint. I practically flagged the guy down to get him to give me some of the marijuana joint. I didn’t know if it was going to help, but I didn’t think it would hurt. The marijuana joint actually made me feel much more calm and relaxed.