I walked in and walked back out.

The first time I went to a medical cannabis dispensary, I walked in and walked back out. The palms of my hands were sweating, and I could feel the sweat rolling down between my shoulder blades and breasts. I was so nervous and uncomfortable; I was sure people could hear my heartbeat. It was beating so hard and loud. I looked at the people, thinking everyone was staring at me and judging me for being in the medical marijuana dispensary. Although I saw no one staring at me, it was all I could do to force my body to move. I got back into the parking lot and was getting into my card when I realized how silly I was being. Everyone in that dispensary had a medical condition that was giving them the eligibility for medical marijuana. I wasn’t an oddity, but one of them. I waited for the sweat to stop and my heart to regulate, squared my shoulders, and walked back into the dispensary. The woman at the desk greeted me a second time and asked if I was all right. I told her why I was there and gave her my medical marijuana ID card. We talked while she looked up my registration with the state, handed me a small packet of information and called back for a pharmacist. The young man came out and walked me into the salesroom. By the time I left the marijuana dispensary, I felt like I was a member of their group. I was also feeling silly for walking in and out of the dispensary without talking to anyone.


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